well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
