Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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