oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
