Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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