I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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