woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
