so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
