when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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