So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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