Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
