if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Sponge bath it is.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
