Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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