A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
