yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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