At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
