No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
