Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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