Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
