His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
