If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We named our party play list daddy issues
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I stole a fireplace last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
