I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
