I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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