I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize