Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
