The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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