No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
