I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
