Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
