Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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