Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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