She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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