I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
