The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
