then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
