i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
