toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
