Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
4 words: hood of his car
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
