I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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