I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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