mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
