new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my being single is dangerous.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
