i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
