chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
