You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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