two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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