their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
