the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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