I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
