My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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