I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
