I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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