Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
