So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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