Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
