So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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