I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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